i want to give you your favourite ice cream
white vanilla cream

Pauline, 88liner, sg, elf & cassie, dbsjyj, ot20. heechul & jaejoong rule my heart, mind & soul. other biases: yunho, kyu, shisus & db5k boys. hanchul, 83line, sichul, sihanchul, kyuchul, wonkyu, changkyu, hyuksu, yunjae, soulmate, yoosu but nothing comes close to heechulxheebum and jaejoongxjiji (

I’ve always thought that I was the unlucky one—to only discover Heechul’s existence right after the Mr Simple promotion, when he was due for enlistment—but looking back, I really think I couldn’t have been luckier. Other than rumours of band splitting up and our bias dating someone (a girl, not the bandmate that we’re shipping him with), I suppose the next thing that Kpop fans dread would be our bias’s enlistment. I must say that I have it really easy. All these while, it didn’t really feel like he was that far away. Even when he terminated his Twitter account at some point, even when he forgot the password to his Weibo account… there is always his little secretary Zhoumi to help him relay messages and upload selcas on his behalf.This brings me to the point about how you can count on Heechul to say the right things at the right time. True, there may have been times when he overstepped his bounds, but most of the times, I know I can always count on his ingenuity to set things right. During the height of the Only-13 fiasco, he wrote an entry on Cyworld dedicating it to Zhoumi, “I don’t know how everyone looks at him, but to me, he’s not just an SJM member, but also a cute dongsaeng whom I really love… Regardless of what anyone says, he’s the seasoning who became my hands and legs when I was unable to move.” Heechul’s aloofness is just a façade, he just doesn’t believe in trying to please everyone. However, if you prove yourself worthy enough, there’s a chance of getting closer to him and finding out for yourself that he’s one of the warmest, most open-minded and accepting individual you can ever find.Many years back, Kyuhyun playfully accused him of spending too much time with everyone but Super Junior members. Of course, it’s easy to understand why such a larger-than-life personality like Heechul has everyone—from legendary actor Choi Minsoo to Jang Keun Suk—gravitating towards him. When he’s in the dorm, he prefers to just play games in his room and not come out until dinner is served. All these just don’t paint a pretty picture of Heechul as the hyung who mothers after everyone, do they? Well, maybe that role isn’t his to play in the first place. Like an esoteric superhero, he always seems to come to someone’s rescue when things are not going right. Honestly, the jokes about Kyuhyun getting off Radio Star once he comes back are starting to get stale. Although Kyuhyun did a good job at handling those jabs and tried not to let them affect him, I’d think that it’s only normal if he started feeling a little insecure. When asked to comment on this issue, Heechul reaffirmed that Kyuhyun was doing a fantastic job, and that he might not even be as good as Kyuhyun even if he went back. Over a drinking session, Kyuhyun asked if he would go back as a guest, and Heechul explained that he wanted to avoid going back to the show altogether because he did not want to compete with a fellow member whom he looked upon as a younger brother. Heechul is never one to look back at past successes, and it’s only right because this is Kyuhyun’s time to shine. Nonchalance seems to be quintessentially Heechul, but that’s only true because he’s not the type who sweats the small stuffs. He has always stood up for what he believed in, even if it means being the lone soldier, and that’s one of the many traits which I admire most about him. When Hangeng is no longer active in Super Junior, it was almost as if that name was erased from the face of the world. No one ever spoke about Hangeng again, but Heechul did. Understandably so, because Hangeng was the person whom Heechul once said “understood him better than a Korean next door would”. The differences in nationality and first language have never been obstacles in Heechul and Hangeng’s friendship, which is built on similar interests and cemented by drinking soju together without talking, enjoying each other’s company in silence. Whenever Heechul reminisces, he wouldn’t stop short of mentioning Hangeng’s name. Taboo is a missing word from his dictionary and friendship triumphs.A testament to the statement I made above, Jaejoong and Junsu—two names you probably won’t ever hear the other SM artistes talking about again—have been mentioned by Heechul recently, like nothing ever happened. And while we’re on the subject of DBSK, how he stood up for Yunho after the poisoning incident should be well-documented by now. At that moment, he lost control and asked the culprit who poisoned Yunho’s drink to do the same to him, putting his life on the frontline just so he can catch her himself. Swearing might not be a big deal for most, but it is quite something for a member from a relatively squeaky clean boyband to go all berserk and call someone “garbage” and scold “fuck” on his blog. I’m not saying that I agree with his actions, and I understand that there will be detractors who think that he’s being reckless. However, there’s one thing that’s as clear as day—Heechul’s loyalty as a friend is hard to come by.More than just the bestest friend anyone can find, Heechul is also a wonderful son and brother. One of the things which makes me the happiest is to see him talk about his family, because that’s when I can catch a glimpse of that rare tenderness in his eyes. It’s quite common to see him responding to flatteries in his usual, snarky way, because he’s heard them so many times before, told to him by different people. However, when he was recounting the incident when his mom told him to cut his hair because it looked really ugly, he looked like a spoilt little child who had his favourite toy broken. When he finally had his long overdue haircut and his mom texted him again to give compliments, his face lit up and his smile lingered as his eyes remain fixed on the phone. I sit and stare at the magical moment and it feels like the mechanisms of my heart just gave way. He’s the strong-willed, annoying brother who would quarrel with Heejin over daily, mundane things like who gets the remote control because he doesn’t share the same love for Sech Kies (a 90s boyband). Once, Heejin looked distraught and was crying when watching the TV, he thought that she was being an emotional fangirl as usual and tried to tease her. When he finally understood the situation—that Sech Kies was disbanding and that was their last performance—he sat quietly beside her to keep her company. That’s a side of Heechul which I don’t see often, and that’s why moments like these are precious to me.Heechul is an extraordinary character who plays every role in his life so well. He’s one in a million… of millions, and it warms my heart every time I come across comments (and tags) which say the nicest things about him that I fail to put to words.My dearest Heechul, I feel really proud to be one of your many petals who make up the full bloom that you are. Thank you for being so quirky and the laughter you brought me. I was at the one of the lowest points of my life before I knew you, and I’m not even sure how this works, but just by looking at you, I realise that happiness is infectious and you have since been injecting me with constant rapture. Thank you, too, for being my teacher in life and your unconventional life lessons. You’re never one to mince words and have a clear stand on what you think an idol/fan relationship should be. Don’t worry, I will not wait for you to marry me but I sure hope to find someone like you in my life. Last but not least, I say thank you again because I think I’m really, really lucky to have known you (as a fan) so I thank you for your existence.It’s your special day today so, Happy Birthday, baby. You are the best one of the best ones, so I wish nothing but the best for you.